Cheaters – Morning Coffee Edition

Every morning before work, I like to enjoy a cup of coffee or a soy latte at a local coffee establishment. A lot of folks have the same routine. Typically they go to the same coffee shop each morning, chat nonchalantly with their favorite barista, and go about their day. For us awkward folks, this same uneventful transaction isn’t as uneventful. For me, nonchalant discussions with a cheerful, friendly barista turns me into an extremely awkward conversationalist. “So, how’s your morning going?” …”Uh…good” (should I ask how they’re doing, what is the proper etiquette, oh crap they’re looking at me weird, hand them your credit card doofus!).

As a result, I prefer to remain under the radar and not be recognized by the workers or other coffee patrons. There’s an excellent coffee shop right next to my place of employment that I would love to frequent, but don’t because of the recognizability factor. For this reason, I spread out my coffee visits to several local coffee shops within a reasonable radius of my workplace. However, I have to walk by the coffee shop closest to my workplace to get to my work. They have a very large window, and I always feel extremely awkward walking in front of that window with another coffee cup in my hand. As an awkward person, I sometimes think people notice me more than they probably do. And this is why I think my barista thinks I’m cheating on him.